I was born in Philadelphia and called it my home town for about 22 years of my life. In November of 2004 I moved out to Chicago, IL after a series of unfortunate events (yeah I'm a Snicket's fan...). The short story of it is my Mother and Father moved to Chicago because my old man got a job that relocated him. I was living in the bottom level/basement of my sister and her husband's house in Philly and one day the house burned down destroying everything I owned as the basement took the most damage from the fire PLUS the water damage on top of the firefighters smashing things.
Within a few months I also would be cheated on by my girlfriend of 6 years and lose my job. I ended up breaking down and accepting my Dad's invitation to come stay with him and my Mom for a while til I got back on my feet. I was being charged by friends and family to STAY with them here n there just so I wouldn't be sleeping on the streets. Turned out I could have probably gotten a hotel room and saved some money but I ended up going flat broke with no way of recovering. I'm still in the hole pretty big but that's a whole different story..
I moved to Melrose Park Illinois which is about 10 minutes from the city of Chicago. My life was a frustrating mess as I was constantly depressed and even though I was getting a fresh start in a brand new place I was finding it very hard to catch a break. Friends I would make I ended up getting stabbed in the back and girlfriends would cheat on me so for a little while I was just being a "pimp" daddy and ran through women trying not to catch feelings because I was just tired of being made a fool of. I drank like a mad man and while the rest of the world was spiraling out of control for me I was finding comfort in my only friend at the time, marijuana...
That will be another blog all in itself...
I spent about a year and a half I think it was just struggling to find a reason to not put a bullet in my head. Honestly I felt like I had no hope at all to go anywhere in life or that I would ever matter to anyone. I know my Mama loved me but I explained to her once when she seemed offended by my statement that I was all alone in the world. I actually listen to the song "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart" by Al Green and think of this conversation I had with my Mom and I remember her smile when she understood me. It's not often that your parents can truly understand you and that is a fact no matter how hard you try to tell me otherwise. Will Smith was right.
I was working a factory job and just working all the time. One night in January 2006 I decided to go to the bar. It was a saturday night and I was actually ready to go to bed early as heck! I was feeling restless and actually kinda lonely so I sat up and said "going to the bar...". I was sitting at the bar not to long after and was drinking pitchers of MGD cause they were only 3 dollars a pitcher or something cheap like that. I said screw the glass at one point and just started carrying around my pitcher, sipping from it. I don't miss alcohol much to be honest with you, by the way....
Suddenly my attention was drawn directly to the door as I saw this group of people coming in. More like I was checking out one of the ladies in that group and I felt this strange sensation throughout my body. No perverts not those kinds of sensations, minds out of the gutter please! I will credit alcohol with giving me the courage to talk to this woman and with my liquid courage I had her and a crowd at the bar highly entertained. Her name was Angela and I was so attracted to everything about her. We had a hell of a night watching an incredible Rolling Stone's cover band which the lead singer WAS Mick Jagger I mean the guy looked just like him.
She took me back to her place after we closed down a couple of after parties and we actually both passed out before any freaky deaky stuff could take place. I think I ended up spending about 200 dollars on hennessy and MGD plus I felt bad for this little hindu guy sitting alone at the bar all sad lookin' and he ran out of money and some people were making some stupid comments so I told the bartender that he was with me so to put him on my tab. I can't help but care about people around me even if I do not know them like THAT.
Angela and I have been together ever since that day minus one break up period during the days that lead up to my being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The bond that we share is very strong and we actually feel as though we are indeed soul mates. I had to go through a life of pain and misery to finally be where I am today. I wouldn't be here right now if not for that plane ticket I got, one way from Philadelphia to Chicago O'Hare International Airport. I've been adopted by Chicago and I am thankful that I survived.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
We Forget To Practice...
You know I was thinkin' while I was doing the dishes early and I started thinking about an exercise we could do to create positive energy. Let it ripple out like a "Pay It Forward" kind of concept. Performing an act of kindness each and every day and you could even start from 1 and each day add a number of kind acts to perform each day and see if you can perform all of them on the list, if you can't complete the list you have to start over. This will build a whole bunch of positive energy to spread around fast.
I was also thinking about the fact that those of us who have some "K9 Americans" in our lives (dogs for the animalistic politically incorrect), we work so hard to train our dogs. It takes extensive and repettitive practice and as much attention to detail as possible if you really want to train your k9 to be the best lil girl or boy it can be so it don't go poopies or peepees in the house like a bad dog!!
Sorry, where was I? Oh, right...
What if we were to actually start training our children as thoroughly as we train our dogs? Of course not with milkbones and snaussages but if we really raised our children and helped them to be the best that THEY can be. Teach them as much as we can teach them and even learn new things along with them because there is always something for you to educate yourself on and I think we could better connect with our children if we can learn along side them.
What I'm seeing as a problem in America is that there are way too many parents that are not taking their responsibilities seriously when it comes to their children. I worked with many under privileged children in Philadelphia and what has my heart broken still is seeing the kids who's parents abused the hell out of them. Raised their children so strict that it seemed like no matter what the child did, no matter what mistake was made or how minor it was, it called for harsh punishment (mostly beatings). That's despicable and people should step in if they know of a situation involving abuse like this. "It's none of my business" is a terrible cop out and is total bullshit, if somebody needs your help the only right thing to do is HELP by all means.
When I used to partake in the consumption of alcoholic beverages I had some drinks with my Father at a bar out here in Illinois. In a drunken state I let my Dad have a piece of my mind and tried to explain to him my take on parenting and my philosophy on raising children. I think one thing that people may want to stop doing is basing their parenting off of "how they were raised". You have to try to understand that the world your child is living in is completely different than the world YOU were being raised in when you were their age. So while basic (but important) things like being kind and respect and common sense etc, you have to try to be more understanding of the ways of THEIR streets. No matter how much we deny it these kids are coming up a lot differently than what we did and what our parents did, it's called progression (oddly enough).
I explained to him that his biggest issues in school in his days were good clean one on one fist fights with a bully or whatever. When I was in Lincoln High School in Philadelphia I had a gun pulled on me once and it was one of them heavily secured metal detector damn near prison type schools you see in the movies. I feared for my life, at least he was alive if he lost the fight.
This whole conversation we had came up because he was asking me honestly why I dropped out of high school and what he and my Mother did wrong in raising me. I told him that there is nothing in the world that they could have done differently. At this point in my life I was unaware of my bipolar disorder. I knew I had problems but never heard of bipolar disorder so I just brushed off my depression spells as nothing. Parents you have to accept your children's decisions when they get older. As hard as it is to do we have to show support to our kids as long as they are happy. We all deserve that respect no matter what age we are or how much of a mistake you think they are making. You can give advice or shed some light on the issue but try to always include the "but I support you in either direction you choose". I think that's crucial...
Reaching out to the gay/lesbian community for a moment. I would like to offer my support and ask that people please consider respecting these men and women as they respect YOUR choice of being straight. The fact is that it really does HURT so much to have so many people hating the shit out of you for simply being YOU. All people who have ever felt oppressed and discriminated against should understand this entirely yet I see so many that join along in condemning these folk. If you can imagine the fear that some of them feel just to say out in the open that they are homosexual then you would probably understand a bit more. My heart goes out to those who face physical threat at the hands of the truly ignorant fools of the world. I am all for freedom and a person's right to speak against something but once it comes to physicality or even emotional abuse then I draw the damn line.
I have attended a few "pride" parades here in Chicago with my wife and some of our lesbian friends and man is it one heck of a party! I think homophobes are just scared to say they condone homosexuality because they fear it will make it look like THEY would consider homosexuality. I may be wrong but I don't care it's just one idea. We need to search in our hearts for the compassion that exists for our fellow man and woman and respect who they are even if you don't agree with their "lifestyle". You wouldn't want people violently attacking you because you are ugly or fat or a Jew or a Nigger or a Honkey ass cracker or a spic or a democrat or a republican or all of that racist bullshit and whatnot. Please take those words in the context they are in and don't start loading me up with emails saying I'm racist. Please have better sense than THAT.
What we need more of to be happier people in society is PRACTICE. In order to be great or even slightly GOOD at anything you generally have to practice. Some lucky punks get to breeze in some departments without much practice at all but that's neither here nor there (hey if something is neither here nor there then where the heck IS it?). We forget to practice the little things it takes to be happy. Self respect, mutual respect, good manners, tolerance, patience, open and honest communication and love are some of many tools we can stand to exercise in order to be stronger persons.
One last thing I wanted to touch on (teehee touch on but minds out of the gutter friends!). I brought up music and movies and entertainment in a previous blog and want to make myself clear on something. I did not mean to sound so negative about artists like Nicki Minaj. While I do not particularly enjoy her music I totally have respect for her and those who DO like and love Nicki. Honestly she does have a lot of talent but in the end it just isn't my cup of tea. I respect all people's tastes in music and movies. I do not think any musicians or celebs are out to cause harm of any sort.
I am thinking about revising my old "peace festival" idea I had back in Philadelphia 12 years ago and trying to do it here in Chicago. This will take much work and I'll need all the support I can get on this one but I think it is something that needs to be done. I will be working on some plans and see if I cane come up with something doable. I'll keep you posted. If any chicago musicians would consider doin a free gig at the festival shoot me an email.
Joey Z
I was also thinking about the fact that those of us who have some "K9 Americans" in our lives (dogs for the animalistic politically incorrect), we work so hard to train our dogs. It takes extensive and repettitive practice and as much attention to detail as possible if you really want to train your k9 to be the best lil girl or boy it can be so it don't go poopies or peepees in the house like a bad dog!!
Sorry, where was I? Oh, right...
What if we were to actually start training our children as thoroughly as we train our dogs? Of course not with milkbones and snaussages but if we really raised our children and helped them to be the best that THEY can be. Teach them as much as we can teach them and even learn new things along with them because there is always something for you to educate yourself on and I think we could better connect with our children if we can learn along side them.
What I'm seeing as a problem in America is that there are way too many parents that are not taking their responsibilities seriously when it comes to their children. I worked with many under privileged children in Philadelphia and what has my heart broken still is seeing the kids who's parents abused the hell out of them. Raised their children so strict that it seemed like no matter what the child did, no matter what mistake was made or how minor it was, it called for harsh punishment (mostly beatings). That's despicable and people should step in if they know of a situation involving abuse like this. "It's none of my business" is a terrible cop out and is total bullshit, if somebody needs your help the only right thing to do is HELP by all means.
When I used to partake in the consumption of alcoholic beverages I had some drinks with my Father at a bar out here in Illinois. In a drunken state I let my Dad have a piece of my mind and tried to explain to him my take on parenting and my philosophy on raising children. I think one thing that people may want to stop doing is basing their parenting off of "how they were raised". You have to try to understand that the world your child is living in is completely different than the world YOU were being raised in when you were their age. So while basic (but important) things like being kind and respect and common sense etc, you have to try to be more understanding of the ways of THEIR streets. No matter how much we deny it these kids are coming up a lot differently than what we did and what our parents did, it's called progression (oddly enough).
I explained to him that his biggest issues in school in his days were good clean one on one fist fights with a bully or whatever. When I was in Lincoln High School in Philadelphia I had a gun pulled on me once and it was one of them heavily secured metal detector damn near prison type schools you see in the movies. I feared for my life, at least he was alive if he lost the fight.
This whole conversation we had came up because he was asking me honestly why I dropped out of high school and what he and my Mother did wrong in raising me. I told him that there is nothing in the world that they could have done differently. At this point in my life I was unaware of my bipolar disorder. I knew I had problems but never heard of bipolar disorder so I just brushed off my depression spells as nothing. Parents you have to accept your children's decisions when they get older. As hard as it is to do we have to show support to our kids as long as they are happy. We all deserve that respect no matter what age we are or how much of a mistake you think they are making. You can give advice or shed some light on the issue but try to always include the "but I support you in either direction you choose". I think that's crucial...
Reaching out to the gay/lesbian community for a moment. I would like to offer my support and ask that people please consider respecting these men and women as they respect YOUR choice of being straight. The fact is that it really does HURT so much to have so many people hating the shit out of you for simply being YOU. All people who have ever felt oppressed and discriminated against should understand this entirely yet I see so many that join along in condemning these folk. If you can imagine the fear that some of them feel just to say out in the open that they are homosexual then you would probably understand a bit more. My heart goes out to those who face physical threat at the hands of the truly ignorant fools of the world. I am all for freedom and a person's right to speak against something but once it comes to physicality or even emotional abuse then I draw the damn line.
I have attended a few "pride" parades here in Chicago with my wife and some of our lesbian friends and man is it one heck of a party! I think homophobes are just scared to say they condone homosexuality because they fear it will make it look like THEY would consider homosexuality. I may be wrong but I don't care it's just one idea. We need to search in our hearts for the compassion that exists for our fellow man and woman and respect who they are even if you don't agree with their "lifestyle". You wouldn't want people violently attacking you because you are ugly or fat or a Jew or a Nigger or a Honkey ass cracker or a spic or a democrat or a republican or all of that racist bullshit and whatnot. Please take those words in the context they are in and don't start loading me up with emails saying I'm racist. Please have better sense than THAT.
What we need more of to be happier people in society is PRACTICE. In order to be great or even slightly GOOD at anything you generally have to practice. Some lucky punks get to breeze in some departments without much practice at all but that's neither here nor there (hey if something is neither here nor there then where the heck IS it?). We forget to practice the little things it takes to be happy. Self respect, mutual respect, good manners, tolerance, patience, open and honest communication and love are some of many tools we can stand to exercise in order to be stronger persons.
One last thing I wanted to touch on (teehee touch on but minds out of the gutter friends!). I brought up music and movies and entertainment in a previous blog and want to make myself clear on something. I did not mean to sound so negative about artists like Nicki Minaj. While I do not particularly enjoy her music I totally have respect for her and those who DO like and love Nicki. Honestly she does have a lot of talent but in the end it just isn't my cup of tea. I respect all people's tastes in music and movies. I do not think any musicians or celebs are out to cause harm of any sort.
I am thinking about revising my old "peace festival" idea I had back in Philadelphia 12 years ago and trying to do it here in Chicago. This will take much work and I'll need all the support I can get on this one but I think it is something that needs to be done. I will be working on some plans and see if I cane come up with something doable. I'll keep you posted. If any chicago musicians would consider doin a free gig at the festival shoot me an email.
Joey Z
Friday, August 31, 2012
For All Of The Women
I wanted to take some time and say some things to the chicks out there. Though I keep saying I am not a fan of labels I would say you could say I could say you could say I am a bit of a "feminist". Not in any defined sense of the word (if that makes any sense). In other words I am not the picture of perfection nor am I a friggin' numbers guy. I won't be able to throw all kinds of stats or anything at you as I do not like math in the least bit and find copying and pasting statistical mumbo jumbo to prove a point. Raising awareness is not about that...
As I've mentioned in my introductory blog "Getting To Know Me", one of my biggest influences in my life growing up was my Mother. Watching the things she went through health wise on top of the domestic abuse endured at the hand of my Father. I learned a lot from my Mom whether it was a lesson intended or not, I always paid attention to what people were going through around me and I always can't help but feel their pain with them. Empathy I guess would be the word to use there. I'm not a wordsmith, I don't knowsmith...
I did a song not too long ago called "Rape" in which I wrote about a few cases I read about in a support group forum. I changed some of the details but I did this song to show some support as my heart goes out to these poor victims of such a heinous crime. Crime isn't even the right word to use but I'll stick with it for now. Having 3 daughters and two of them being teenagers is REALLY scary for me because I see how many creeps are out there ready to pounce at any time like the animals that they are. To ALL those disgusting pigs that may have stumbled upon this blog, I'll thank you to go F yourself pal!
After a converstation I had earlier I sort of changed my mind a few times about what I was going to write in this blog. I don't want to make it look like I'm putting any women down or that I do not respect all women 100% but I want it to be clear that I think lots of them are slipping out there and need to wake up while they still can. I have friends that I constantly find myself scratching my head about how they show no respect for themselves and allow their partner to treat them even worse. I know that self esteem and security are a big part of this so I think we just need to do better as a society to change the perception of what a real "beautiful" woman is. By the way it has nothing to do with their image either. "A pretty face may last a year or two, but pretty soon they'll see what you can do" John Lennon said in his song "How Do You Sleep?" on his album "Imagine".
I'm not going to start knit picking issues that I see within the female community : ) but rather just give some words of encouragement and say "ladies, this joint's for you!".
For all of you women out there that think there are no good men in this world that appreciate you as a woman and love you for who you really are, you have my respect. For all of you women who hold your smile through the situations where most people would buckle and cry, you have my respect. For all the women who love unconditionally, you have my respect. For all the Mothers out there from the rich to the poor, you have my respect (as long as you ARE doing your best to take care of your baby and LOVING it which is most important of all).
For all of the women who need to know that SOMEBODY has their back, you got my respect and yes I most definitely have got your back! For all of you women out there who stand as wonderful role models for the next generation of little girls growing up into womanhood, you have my respect!
I told you I wasn't going to go deep into this, I was going to totally but I decided maybe that wasn't the appropriate route to go...When all I wanna really do is say, you are appreciated!
Joey Z
As I've mentioned in my introductory blog "Getting To Know Me", one of my biggest influences in my life growing up was my Mother. Watching the things she went through health wise on top of the domestic abuse endured at the hand of my Father. I learned a lot from my Mom whether it was a lesson intended or not, I always paid attention to what people were going through around me and I always can't help but feel their pain with them. Empathy I guess would be the word to use there. I'm not a wordsmith, I don't knowsmith...
I did a song not too long ago called "Rape" in which I wrote about a few cases I read about in a support group forum. I changed some of the details but I did this song to show some support as my heart goes out to these poor victims of such a heinous crime. Crime isn't even the right word to use but I'll stick with it for now. Having 3 daughters and two of them being teenagers is REALLY scary for me because I see how many creeps are out there ready to pounce at any time like the animals that they are. To ALL those disgusting pigs that may have stumbled upon this blog, I'll thank you to go F yourself pal!
After a converstation I had earlier I sort of changed my mind a few times about what I was going to write in this blog. I don't want to make it look like I'm putting any women down or that I do not respect all women 100% but I want it to be clear that I think lots of them are slipping out there and need to wake up while they still can. I have friends that I constantly find myself scratching my head about how they show no respect for themselves and allow their partner to treat them even worse. I know that self esteem and security are a big part of this so I think we just need to do better as a society to change the perception of what a real "beautiful" woman is. By the way it has nothing to do with their image either. "A pretty face may last a year or two, but pretty soon they'll see what you can do" John Lennon said in his song "How Do You Sleep?" on his album "Imagine".
I'm not going to start knit picking issues that I see within the female community : ) but rather just give some words of encouragement and say "ladies, this joint's for you!".
For all of you women out there that think there are no good men in this world that appreciate you as a woman and love you for who you really are, you have my respect. For all of you women who hold your smile through the situations where most people would buckle and cry, you have my respect. For all the women who love unconditionally, you have my respect. For all the Mothers out there from the rich to the poor, you have my respect (as long as you ARE doing your best to take care of your baby and LOVING it which is most important of all).
For all of the women who need to know that SOMEBODY has their back, you got my respect and yes I most definitely have got your back! For all of you women out there who stand as wonderful role models for the next generation of little girls growing up into womanhood, you have my respect!
I told you I wasn't going to go deep into this, I was going to totally but I decided maybe that wasn't the appropriate route to go...When all I wanna really do is say, you are appreciated!
Joey Z
Today's Rant...
Wanna shake things up? Really change things?
That requires doing something DIFFERENT..we've had republican and
democrat presidents and have been declining since we raped n killed the Indians to take this land in the first place..
So the only choice to make is to vote for someone not in any political "party" there should be a pizza party instead of republican or democrat party. Screw obama and screw romney, screw ron paul while im at it, i guarantee he is all talk...he may be playing rebel republican in the public eye but i bet that in the dark he is just like the rest. He's the Ralph Nader in this situation pretty much (not saying Ralph Nader is a bad dude but there's always that side show in these presidential elections, Nader was nothing more than a side show just as Ron Paul is in this election.
Someone that went into a coma before obama was elected, then comes out the coma after he is no longer president so had no damn idea that obama was even president, is going to look at things and not even feel like anything is different...stop trying to blame obama for how this country has been for just about ever...blame you...blame you...
YOU who sits by and watches as the youth trashes our streets without a care in the world. YOU who puts all of the responsibility in the government in the first place to actually make anything better. YOU who raises all kinds of hell over petty issues yet remain asleep on the REAL problems that are plaguing society. YOU who might have had an opportunity to lend a helping hand to someone in need but chose to walk on by with the thought that "it's none of my business". YOU who does not assume your position in society and do your part in fixing what's broken. All of you who are actually paying attention to the Presidential race finally now that it's gotten deep into the mud slinging phase.
Also those of you who are calling for Obama's head on a pike because of Obamacare yet seem to have no problem whatsoever with the amount of money used for this "war on terror". You wave your little flags and praise these soldiers as being true American heroes for fighting and dying for our "freedom" here in the USA. While I love my brothers & sisters fighting over seas I must say that I am disgusted by the fact that these YOUNG men and women have to be in that situation in the first place. We tend to glorify war but all it really is, is a living hell. The youth being sent to fight and expected to die bravely over what? They're told freedom and the American way but come on with that already, there's much more to it than that and it's not so noble.
People always get angry at me over my position on the war and troops. They apparently miss my whole message though because never do I say anything disrespectful about the soldiers themselves, they are fighting for the reasons they're told, they believe in their cause and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. My problem is that I know they're being placed in this hell when they 100% do not need to be there!
If you think about the world and see how much it has changed when it comes to everything else other than politics. Yeah we are thrown some changes in law books and what not here and there but for the most part, government has never really provided the cure that the people have faith it will. What I'm seeing in this election is the same song and dance in the campaigns for both sides. Typical politicians telling the people what they'll do for them if elected and what the other person WON'T do if elected and of course a game of tattle tale. What a potential leader SHOULD be using this campaigning time for is speaking to the people as a real man (or woman) and tell it like it is!
We already know that the promises these guys make never pan out but still people rush to the polls to vote after they're buttered up with false but not so far fetched hopes. If I were running and people were paying attention to my every word I would be using that podium to insight people and motivate them to get up and get it done together. In reality the only way the problems in America will be truly addressed is if ALL of the people did their part and I feel like most people only think their part begins and ends at the election booth. As soon as you push the button for the guy you want, and open that curtain to walk out, democracy is over.
I actually thought of it like this once. What if it really DIDN'T matter who we vote for? That the only reason there even is an election is to make the people feel like THEY got to decide something. Like they have a hand in shaping this country into what it's going to become next. That is the way it really seems to me but you know I'm not a smart guy I'm just a thinkin' man...
Political discussions can go on forever but nothing will ever be figured out because politics are mostly matters of opinion but since we won't ever all share the same opinions it will just be one never ending argument. The only way for us to make things better is to do things differently than what we've been doing. If we can not do that then you might as well just forget about hope because hope alone doesn't get anything accomplished. I have love for all of you no matter what race or gender or anything that many people view as "differences"...I wish we could all be that way, it would help matters big time.
Later I'll be writing a blog about Women and Feminism etc. I wrote this blog out the blue, it sparked from just 2 statuses I put on facebook earlier and went from there. It's all my opinion but either way I want what's best for ALL of us in the world and what's wrong with that? We must remove all the things that divide us or suffer the consequences sooner or later.
Power To The People,
Joey Z
So the only choice to make is to vote for someone not in any political "party" there should be a pizza party instead of republican or democrat party. Screw obama and screw romney, screw ron paul while im at it, i guarantee he is all talk...he may be playing rebel republican in the public eye but i bet that in the dark he is just like the rest. He's the Ralph Nader in this situation pretty much (not saying Ralph Nader is a bad dude but there's always that side show in these presidential elections, Nader was nothing more than a side show just as Ron Paul is in this election.
Someone that went into a coma before obama was elected, then comes out the coma after he is no longer president so had no damn idea that obama was even president, is going to look at things and not even feel like anything is different...stop trying to blame obama for how this country has been for just about ever...blame you...blame you...
YOU who sits by and watches as the youth trashes our streets without a care in the world. YOU who puts all of the responsibility in the government in the first place to actually make anything better. YOU who raises all kinds of hell over petty issues yet remain asleep on the REAL problems that are plaguing society. YOU who might have had an opportunity to lend a helping hand to someone in need but chose to walk on by with the thought that "it's none of my business". YOU who does not assume your position in society and do your part in fixing what's broken. All of you who are actually paying attention to the Presidential race finally now that it's gotten deep into the mud slinging phase.
Also those of you who are calling for Obama's head on a pike because of Obamacare yet seem to have no problem whatsoever with the amount of money used for this "war on terror". You wave your little flags and praise these soldiers as being true American heroes for fighting and dying for our "freedom" here in the USA. While I love my brothers & sisters fighting over seas I must say that I am disgusted by the fact that these YOUNG men and women have to be in that situation in the first place. We tend to glorify war but all it really is, is a living hell. The youth being sent to fight and expected to die bravely over what? They're told freedom and the American way but come on with that already, there's much more to it than that and it's not so noble.
People always get angry at me over my position on the war and troops. They apparently miss my whole message though because never do I say anything disrespectful about the soldiers themselves, they are fighting for the reasons they're told, they believe in their cause and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. My problem is that I know they're being placed in this hell when they 100% do not need to be there!
If you think about the world and see how much it has changed when it comes to everything else other than politics. Yeah we are thrown some changes in law books and what not here and there but for the most part, government has never really provided the cure that the people have faith it will. What I'm seeing in this election is the same song and dance in the campaigns for both sides. Typical politicians telling the people what they'll do for them if elected and what the other person WON'T do if elected and of course a game of tattle tale. What a potential leader SHOULD be using this campaigning time for is speaking to the people as a real man (or woman) and tell it like it is!
We already know that the promises these guys make never pan out but still people rush to the polls to vote after they're buttered up with false but not so far fetched hopes. If I were running and people were paying attention to my every word I would be using that podium to insight people and motivate them to get up and get it done together. In reality the only way the problems in America will be truly addressed is if ALL of the people did their part and I feel like most people only think their part begins and ends at the election booth. As soon as you push the button for the guy you want, and open that curtain to walk out, democracy is over.
I actually thought of it like this once. What if it really DIDN'T matter who we vote for? That the only reason there even is an election is to make the people feel like THEY got to decide something. Like they have a hand in shaping this country into what it's going to become next. That is the way it really seems to me but you know I'm not a smart guy I'm just a thinkin' man...
Political discussions can go on forever but nothing will ever be figured out because politics are mostly matters of opinion but since we won't ever all share the same opinions it will just be one never ending argument. The only way for us to make things better is to do things differently than what we've been doing. If we can not do that then you might as well just forget about hope because hope alone doesn't get anything accomplished. I have love for all of you no matter what race or gender or anything that many people view as "differences"...I wish we could all be that way, it would help matters big time.
Later I'll be writing a blog about Women and Feminism etc. I wrote this blog out the blue, it sparked from just 2 statuses I put on facebook earlier and went from there. It's all my opinion but either way I want what's best for ALL of us in the world and what's wrong with that? We must remove all the things that divide us or suffer the consequences sooner or later.
Power To The People,
Joey Z
Thursday, August 30, 2012
American Revolution?
The American Revolution:
I got the idea for this blog just because watching tv tonight and flipping through several channels I came to find a LOT of shows loaded with British people (not that there's anything wrong with that). I said to my Wife "damn, the British are invading our country through television" and immediately started thinking about the Revolutionary War and the American Revolution in general.
In the United States we are brought up and taught in an educational system that pours the glorious stories of our "patriotic" and "righteous" fight for freedom and independence from British rule. However if we really look at the bigger picture, how much of the American Revolution and the Revolutionary War itself can we actually say is true? We already know today how things get spun in such a way to twist and distort facts just to get us to go along with the b.s. that the government rams down our throats.
Was the American Revolution a sham and was the Revolutionary War just a staged thing so that the peasants of this land would hop aboard the American Express (don't leave home without it)? It is widely believed that the United States has a history of staging things such as attacks and threats of attacks to rally people into being in support of going to War to "defend freedom". So why would it not be possible that the very war that started these United States was just the start of the bullshit that many of us think this land has turned into?
There are many reasons I feel there is a strong possibility that there never really WAS an American revolution. At least not the kind of revolution we have been schooled into understanding and believing in. I think anybody with a desire to really make positive change in this world would do themselves to good to really ponder this and try thinking outside the realm of what our text books say is truth. If we as the people are supposed to be what this country is all about and what this government is supposed to be working for then why does it seem like things are exactly opposite?
I know people will paint me as a conspiracy theorist like Jesse Ventura or Michael Moore and all those other free thinkers (even if you don't agree with people's ideas you still should respect their views), but I have been thinking deeply for all of my life so far and studied as much as I could about EVERYTHING. I look at the world as I've viewed it growing up and asked myself all the questions and have paid close attention to people and everything going on in the world.
This land has been one big cesspool of negative energy since the day Columbus and co. stepped foot on land and proceeded to murder and steal and all other kinds of evil deeds. From there the Pilgrims came over as the thievery and murder continued. This country has been at war since it's "birth" and I feel that because of the fact that the country was born through acts of evil and we continue and continue to live these lies, celebrate war, and dishonor the very meaning of "freedom" by foolishly restricting freedoms to certain people (like if freedom really exists we have any right to say who has what freedoms and how much of it they can have).
So through our history of evil and negative energy perhaps this land we live on is actually cursed. An energy that is pissed of about how we ignore truth and righteousness and bathe in greed and self gratification. If you look at the steady decline in society as far as human beings are concerned you will understand what I am talking about and might be inclined to agree. While our technologies are moving way into the future (Jetson's style) we are sinking lower and lower as people and as we slide into the fire instead of reaching out we have our middle fingers up pointed at one another. Each generation seems to be getting worse too but we just shrug it off and come election time we blow on the dice and roll'em in hopes the next to be elected will do what needs to be done.
Wealth
Those in power have always been the elite in society (mainly the extremely wealthy). When I say wealth I do not mean just money because as we know our currency really isn't worth a darn thing anyway right? I don't think I have to get into the details on that so I'll just put this link here about American Currency, that site has some info but I'm sure you can find more on your own if you really want to. If we all understood that money is probably the main thing stunting our growth as a society then the people in power would NOT like it very well because people truly free from the clutches of money and economic stress would throw them off their game. Money is what controls us the most, even more so than religion believe it or not.
Religion
While I've stated that I mean no disrespect to my friends and family that are religious and believe in God even though I do not (call me an atheist but I'm not a fan of labels), I will say that I am 100% not in favor of organized religion for the simple fact that it does more to divide people than it does to unite them in a world that needs unity more than anything if people have any hope. Christianity is probably the worst offender of all religions but here in the United States it is more popular to believe Islam is this evil entity out to kill everyone in the world that ISN'T muslim.
People slap the terrorist label on muslims because of radicals and the 9/11 attacks (don't get me started on 9/11) yet refuse to acknowledge the blood on the hands of the catholic church from it's creation through today. I am not speaking in generalizations here so please don't think I'm attacking christians, I just think it would do them some good to either start practicing what they preach when it comes to the key parts of their beliefs such as the whole love thing that Jesus supposedly taught. So many acts of hate from people who are supposed to be loving thy neighbor, right?
The kicker is that money is one of the main roots/lifelines of religion. The amount of money these churches bring in could probably solve a whole lot of things in the world but we don''t see much of it. The faithful are guilted and begged into giving up their cash in return for their prayers to be answered and I think it's safe to say I'm not wrong about that. Just think about it and open your mind a little bit.
Entertainment & Media
Though music and the arts in general have always been a perfect motivator for the people, these things are also used as tools to keep the people sedated through life. The news is one of the biggest examples as you might already know. Watch news broadcasts and see how the misery is reported to keep people scared and in line mostly. This was touched on in Michael Moore's film "Bowling For Columbine" a bit and I have always felt this way about news.
The positive stories you'll see in a news broadcast or even a newspaper are very few and minor compared to the negative and usually tragic and violent news stories. Keeping people in check for the most part also by perpetuating bullshit. How much can you really believe when it comes to what you see and hear on tv or read in a newspaper? Denzel said it best in "Training Day" the newspaper is 99% bullshit but it's entertaining.
Music, in my opinion, has been configured in such a way to turn people (mostly the youth) into mindless sheep. Take a look at the youth of the nation (great song by the way P.O.D.) and tell me I'm lying. Compare eras a bit and think very deeply about it. In the 1960's music was very politically driven as the young artists were trying to inspire people into a new revolution. Civil rights was the biggest issue along side the Vietnam war. Look at the woodstock festival of 1969 and look at the woodstock festival of 1999 and recognize the huge difference, and the difference had NOTHING to do with 5 dollar bottles of water either, so stop using that excuse for the riot.
If you have artist after artist inviting the crowd to break shit and stir up their frustrations in society that they aren't even quite able to express or even understand fully yet of COURSE they're going to erupt like they did. In the late 60's Hendrix and them were motivating people to march in the streets and say NO to hatred and violence but this attracted the attention of Nixon and the government which led to FBI and CIA investigations on numerous artists throughout the world. Don't believe me? do some research.
Today instead of kids quoting some deep lyrics they are quoting Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne nonsense and if you don't believe it's nonsense try holding the lyrics up next to lyrics from, say, 2pac lyrics from the early 90's and tell me there isn't a big difference. I think the industry is trying to weaken the influence of 2pac by pumping out all of these recent songs that are more pop oriented than politically charging. The youth is not being inspired to revolt against the system as they've done before and that is sad. They are really the only ones who have ever held the power and numbers to make the impact to bring on change but they've been handled, quite well I might add.
There are lots of artists still that do speak out but you won't be hearing them on the radio and these record companies aren't pushing them like they're pushing the bullshit artists. The excuse is made that "well kids don't wanna hear the other stuff" but that's not the case shmucks! It's not that the kids don't want to hear that stuff, they just can't get into it because they're being trained not to. Now, I'm not referring to all of the youth because there are many that have open minds but the thing about it is not enough people with these open minds are speaking out.
In all that I am saying I am not trying to say that people are not smart or that they are gullible or anything like that. I'm just trying to point out the brainwashing that has been going on since the beginning of time to keep people obedient whether it be to church or state. We wave flags and brag about what nationalities we are and all of that but all of that really means nothing in the end. We need to reexamine what it means to be "American" and decide if there ever really was an American Revolution.
There's so much more I could get into but I will save other topics for another blog. This is lengthy enough as it is. Hopefully people will understand what I am saying and acknowledge some truth in all of it. I might not be right on the money accurate but I believe I painted a clear enough picture of truth. At least a lot more truthful than what we are lead to believe.
Power To The People!
Joey Z
Friday, August 17, 2012
Remembering My Mom
Diane Carol Zwalinski
Born January 1956, Died October 2010
Proud Mother of Diane, Lisa and Joseph Zwalinski Jr.
Grandmother of Kenneth Paul III, Jocelyn Zwalinski & Madelyn Diane Hare...
Sister to Mike, Sueann, Ron, John, Ken, Steve and Brian Dauber
Daughter of John & Doris Dauber (late)
Devoted friend to so many!
I still feel the pain I felt the moment my sister informed me that my Mother had passed away. It is a pain that will always be with me and I don't think I'll ever "get used to" either. She fought so hard for many years battling cancer and other health issues yet always managed to keep a smile and was way more concerned with how everybody else was doing. That was my Mom! A very caring and loving person that wanted the best for everybody and she always saw the best in people no matter what.
I want to share a couple of memories of my Mother that I hold on to and keep in mind for times when I really need. I urge people to show love and appreciation to their loved ones, especially their Mothers, because once they are gone you will wish you had.
As a kid I remember my Mom always working so hard along with my Dad to make sure my sisters and I were fed and sheltered and my Mom especially made sure our home was a HOME. We didn't have extremely extravagant things but we had each other and for the most part we were a great family. Through the worst of times Mom always kept fighting and kept that smile going and I'll always admire her for her strength and determination. She was determined to make sure we knew she loved us and to make sure we were taken care of.
She loved to have a warm cup of tea and talk with her friends or do her puzzles, she LOVED puzzles, and crossword puzzles as well. She'd watch her favorite tv shows as much as she could but the thing she enjoyed most was doing things for others especially the children in her life. Like most Mothers, my Mama also loved to cook for us and we LOVED when she cooked! I still make some of her dishes but I try to add my own little touch to some recipes just to feel like I am shaping it to pass on to my little girl.
My Mom had me watching General Hospital from the time I was little til I am now 30 years old. She watched all of the ABC soaps but General Hospital was what I ended up sticking with and when she was living out in Philly and I still here in the Chicago area, we would watch GH together and text back and forth to chat about what was going on. After her death I have kept watching and have little conversations to myself in my head, asking my Mom things like "can you believe this here????" and stuff like that.
One last quick thing I'd like to share about my Mom is that I think she'd like to tell my Sisters and I that she loves us and is proud of us. Though times are tough we have her as someone to look up to when we need an example of survival. She fought cancer like a true champion in life and I think she deserves to be honored by us moving forward and making the best out of the life we have left. The love and lessons that my Mom taught me, either directly or indirectly, I am paying forward to my wife Angela and daughter Jocelyn.
I miss you Mom!
Joey
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Society In Shambles
As a man, a Father, a Husband and as a human being I must say that it hurts to see this decline in society and not knowing if there's hope. We are in a time where the crucial issues are overlooked while issues that are absolutely unworthy of your time or thought are what we argue to the death over. In these days of social media it's even worse because false information is spread much easier and it creates such a buzz of negative energy that is hard to ignore. Meanwhile as our children suffer at home AND in school, people are broke and hungry, we are hit with tragedy after tragedy, respect is being erased from the world and yet our focus is stuck on celebrity infidelity and falls from "grace".
I pay very close attention to facebook forums as well as various other internet spots that discuss politics and society's issues. I closely examine both sides of the field so I can get an understanding as to what people are arguing about and to see how people feel. I do this because when it comes to matters of opinion vs matters of fact it is very crucial that you study all possibilities because it does matter if you're wrong in some situations. I've come to the conclusion that we are ALL wrong when it comes to matters of religion but we are all RIGHT in matters of faith (by the way). This means I don't believe in religion but I respect those who have FAITH and know the difference between the two. Having faith is nothing bad and shouldn't be viewed as such. At the same time religious freaks like to jam their beliefs down everybody elses throats and condemn them if they don't convert or kneel down and pray with them. That's wrong...
Anyway...
The most recent issues I've examined are mostly related to the upcoming presidential election and I have been reading arguments from both sides. The topic most hot lately was Obamacare and I already expressed my support for the plan siting that life is a pro that trumps every con you can think of in this debate, then there was the statement made by Obama in regards to business owners and "you didn't build that" thing that blew way out of proportion. While I see why people got angry I think they missed the actual message that Obama was putting across. I am not an Obama supporter per-say, but I am a Truth supporter and I'll recognize when somebody is telling the truth and when somebody is telling a lie.
When it comes to the anti Obama threads I feel like I am seeing people argue about random things that have nothing to do with the actual topic. It's like they either don't really know what is going on but they hate Obama enough to just go along with the frenzy. I also see lots of numbers thrown around and statistics and people get hyped over them but when I check into a lot of it I come to find the numbers given are wrong so people are stirring the pot with false information which can be extremely harmful. People are charged up to fight and they don't even know why they are fighting or what they are fighting for.
The Pro Obama threads are not much better but I'll say I'm finding more truth on that side. People on that side are actually exploring the issues a lot deeper on top of adding their own personal experiences and beliefs. I am not a believer in political parties and do not care for labels of conservative and liberal or any of that junk. The reason it's so hard for both sides to calmly debate an issue and come to an understanding is because the leaders aren't setting the example. They slander each other in their campaigns and as I said before tons of false information is leaked out and suddenly the people are in an uproar arguing, in some cases violently. Winning the election becomes bigger than serving the people and serving the people is what it's supposed to be all about.
I'm seeing a lot of people talking about freedom lately too. I see posts about our soldiers and the war and for some reason it bothers me seeing people support the "defending freedom" malarkey. The reason I say it's malarkey is because I do not believe people are truly understanding what "freedom" even means. Even though I have love and respect for the young men and women of ALL countries that serve in their military (the youth of the world fights n dies for what?) I feel they are being sent to fight and die for false reasons.
Here in the United States we are supposedly the leaders of the "free world" and supposedly the icon for "freedom", but when I look around all I'm seeing is people trying to set limitations and restrictions on most of the freedoms we do have. You are free in the USA but only if you aren't gay. Let freedom ring!! (but only if....). People are taking it upon themselves to judge others by the masses and feel they have the right to say what others have rights to do or say. People complain about illegal immigrants yet that's what the whole concept of this country was, wasn't it? "Native Americans" are the ones that should be yelling about illegal immigrants because this is after all stolen property (and to the religious it's ALL God's anyway so what is this "property" talk?).
I'm seeing people physically harming others for their differences and by "for their differences" I'm sugar coating it. These freedoms that our soldiers are fighting and dying for in Iraq and elsewhere, what good are they if all we do is restrict others from participating in this "freedom"? We are teaching kids to hate, heck, we aren't even teaching them to respect even if you don't agree, at the same time as we teach them about "freedom". Something just isn't right with any of that and I think it's about time people recognized it and we figured out a way to deal with the problem and it actually does start with children.
It is foolish for us grown ups to keep calling this "our world" or "our country" or "our city" when it actually belongs to our children and our children's children and so on. Since this is the case why do we seem to not mind leaving them a world in the condition it is? These kids are going to inherit many bad things and so much evil that it's scary to think of. I fear what the world will be like when my daughter turns 30 because in my own 30 years I have seen such a nasty spiral out of control in society and in it's people.
The biggest thing that is tearing down our society is the "all mighty" dollar! Money is not the root of evil but it is definitely a major player in it's dealings. People are driven to some very evil deeds because of money and if you think about it even those who do positive things with money face a ton of evil because of the junk that comes with having money. The more money you make the more pressure is applied and people just assume having money equals everything is okay all the time. I think that we need to consider doing away completely with the concept of money and remove all the price tags that we place on things like food and shelter.
There's a scene in the movie "Baby Boy" with Tyrese Gibson and Ving Rhames. Ving explains to Tyrese and Omar Gooding the difference between "Guns and Butter". "You got to learn the difference between guns and butter. There are two types of niggas, niggas with guns, and niggas with butter. What are the guns? That’s the real estate, the stocks and bonds. Art work. Shit that appreciates with value. What’s the butter? Cars, clothes, jewelry, all the bullshit that don’t mean shit after you buy it. That’s what it’s all about: Guns and butter.".
The things we need to maintain life such as food, water, shelter, quality healthcare etc. should not require any money. We all deserve to be fed and taken care of without receiving a bill. If people were driven by the fact that we could have all we need and THEN some they would still work hard and they might even be inspired to work even harder just because. People will read the things I say and start throwing words like "socialist" at me and to them I say oh hush it because you are an idiot and labels like that are just stupid. As I said in the beginning. All I am is a man, a Father, a Husband and a Human being! Nothing more, nothing less. I am a a man of the people and feel like we can turn things around in society if we actually put our minds and energy to it. Just have to start taking the job seriously and stop hitting the snooze button when the alarm goes off cause we've been sleeping way too long already so we missed the bus already.
Society can't work unless people can agree to disagree.
Joey Zee
I pay very close attention to facebook forums as well as various other internet spots that discuss politics and society's issues. I closely examine both sides of the field so I can get an understanding as to what people are arguing about and to see how people feel. I do this because when it comes to matters of opinion vs matters of fact it is very crucial that you study all possibilities because it does matter if you're wrong in some situations. I've come to the conclusion that we are ALL wrong when it comes to matters of religion but we are all RIGHT in matters of faith (by the way). This means I don't believe in religion but I respect those who have FAITH and know the difference between the two. Having faith is nothing bad and shouldn't be viewed as such. At the same time religious freaks like to jam their beliefs down everybody elses throats and condemn them if they don't convert or kneel down and pray with them. That's wrong...
Anyway...
The most recent issues I've examined are mostly related to the upcoming presidential election and I have been reading arguments from both sides. The topic most hot lately was Obamacare and I already expressed my support for the plan siting that life is a pro that trumps every con you can think of in this debate, then there was the statement made by Obama in regards to business owners and "you didn't build that" thing that blew way out of proportion. While I see why people got angry I think they missed the actual message that Obama was putting across. I am not an Obama supporter per-say, but I am a Truth supporter and I'll recognize when somebody is telling the truth and when somebody is telling a lie.
When it comes to the anti Obama threads I feel like I am seeing people argue about random things that have nothing to do with the actual topic. It's like they either don't really know what is going on but they hate Obama enough to just go along with the frenzy. I also see lots of numbers thrown around and statistics and people get hyped over them but when I check into a lot of it I come to find the numbers given are wrong so people are stirring the pot with false information which can be extremely harmful. People are charged up to fight and they don't even know why they are fighting or what they are fighting for.
The Pro Obama threads are not much better but I'll say I'm finding more truth on that side. People on that side are actually exploring the issues a lot deeper on top of adding their own personal experiences and beliefs. I am not a believer in political parties and do not care for labels of conservative and liberal or any of that junk. The reason it's so hard for both sides to calmly debate an issue and come to an understanding is because the leaders aren't setting the example. They slander each other in their campaigns and as I said before tons of false information is leaked out and suddenly the people are in an uproar arguing, in some cases violently. Winning the election becomes bigger than serving the people and serving the people is what it's supposed to be all about.
I'm seeing a lot of people talking about freedom lately too. I see posts about our soldiers and the war and for some reason it bothers me seeing people support the "defending freedom" malarkey. The reason I say it's malarkey is because I do not believe people are truly understanding what "freedom" even means. Even though I have love and respect for the young men and women of ALL countries that serve in their military (the youth of the world fights n dies for what?) I feel they are being sent to fight and die for false reasons.
Here in the United States we are supposedly the leaders of the "free world" and supposedly the icon for "freedom", but when I look around all I'm seeing is people trying to set limitations and restrictions on most of the freedoms we do have. You are free in the USA but only if you aren't gay. Let freedom ring!! (but only if....). People are taking it upon themselves to judge others by the masses and feel they have the right to say what others have rights to do or say. People complain about illegal immigrants yet that's what the whole concept of this country was, wasn't it? "Native Americans" are the ones that should be yelling about illegal immigrants because this is after all stolen property (and to the religious it's ALL God's anyway so what is this "property" talk?).
I'm seeing people physically harming others for their differences and by "for their differences" I'm sugar coating it. These freedoms that our soldiers are fighting and dying for in Iraq and elsewhere, what good are they if all we do is restrict others from participating in this "freedom"? We are teaching kids to hate, heck, we aren't even teaching them to respect even if you don't agree, at the same time as we teach them about "freedom". Something just isn't right with any of that and I think it's about time people recognized it and we figured out a way to deal with the problem and it actually does start with children.
It is foolish for us grown ups to keep calling this "our world" or "our country" or "our city" when it actually belongs to our children and our children's children and so on. Since this is the case why do we seem to not mind leaving them a world in the condition it is? These kids are going to inherit many bad things and so much evil that it's scary to think of. I fear what the world will be like when my daughter turns 30 because in my own 30 years I have seen such a nasty spiral out of control in society and in it's people.
The biggest thing that is tearing down our society is the "all mighty" dollar! Money is not the root of evil but it is definitely a major player in it's dealings. People are driven to some very evil deeds because of money and if you think about it even those who do positive things with money face a ton of evil because of the junk that comes with having money. The more money you make the more pressure is applied and people just assume having money equals everything is okay all the time. I think that we need to consider doing away completely with the concept of money and remove all the price tags that we place on things like food and shelter.
There's a scene in the movie "Baby Boy" with Tyrese Gibson and Ving Rhames. Ving explains to Tyrese and Omar Gooding the difference between "Guns and Butter". "You got to learn the difference between guns and butter. There are two types of niggas, niggas with guns, and niggas with butter. What are the guns? That’s the real estate, the stocks and bonds. Art work. Shit that appreciates with value. What’s the butter? Cars, clothes, jewelry, all the bullshit that don’t mean shit after you buy it. That’s what it’s all about: Guns and butter.".
The things we need to maintain life such as food, water, shelter, quality healthcare etc. should not require any money. We all deserve to be fed and taken care of without receiving a bill. If people were driven by the fact that we could have all we need and THEN some they would still work hard and they might even be inspired to work even harder just because. People will read the things I say and start throwing words like "socialist" at me and to them I say oh hush it because you are an idiot and labels like that are just stupid. As I said in the beginning. All I am is a man, a Father, a Husband and a Human being! Nothing more, nothing less. I am a a man of the people and feel like we can turn things around in society if we actually put our minds and energy to it. Just have to start taking the job seriously and stop hitting the snooze button when the alarm goes off cause we've been sleeping way too long already so we missed the bus already.
Society can't work unless people can agree to disagree.
Joey Zee
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Relationship Tips
My wife and I just celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary and I decided to share my thoughts and feelings about this. I would also like to throw some motivational talk at some people that might be in need of such. We all need a pep talk now and then and I happen to like giving people good positive advice whenever possible. I also think that Angela and I have a very unique but very strong relationship that works very well. We have been through some rough times but remained a team through it all and grew even stronger together.
The issues we faced were mostly not even between us but more of my own personal hang ups and insecurities that I never actually faced. I'll admit that most of our bad times were my fault and I will always be thankful to my wife for believing in me and believing in us. In therapy I talk everything out and my therapist tells me all the time that Angela and I really are a great match for one another and she partially agreed with me that Angela was key in my struggles with bipolar disorder and the mess that comes along with medications and medication adjustments on top of the side effects and my BAD DAYS etc.
In one session I told my therapist, Marilyn, that I credit my Mom with giving me my heart and giving me life and I credit Angela with showing me what I'm supposed to do with these things. I can honestly say I was never truly happy until I got into this relationship with her and it was scary when I was at my lowest and felt like it was all over for us. My disorder really cripples my confidence and my self esteem is very low so it makes me nervous that we're married 5 years and she's still by my side. This fact is what really has given me a boost in confidence as I am very proud that I can say we are still together and stronger than ever!
We humans all have flaws and understanding and accepting that is the first necessity for a healthy marriage. There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or a perfect couple or even a perfect individual so expecting your other half to live up to impossible standards is no fair. No fair, no fair, no FAIR! If you think about the majority of arguments we have as couples I'm sure you'll see how petty most of them have been. I'm extremely guilty of adding intensity to any minor incident and over exaggerating the simplest situations. I know I do it and admitting our faults is important to self improvement as well as relationship improvement.
Honesty is really the number 1 necessity of ANY relationship and also as an individual which is something most people seem to forget. Being honest with yourself is what you've really got to learn to do and I think some of you may have caught yourselves pondering that one! I'm not talking about sharing every single emotion you feel or drowning your mate in your feelings...there's a such thing as smothering and smothering is a necessity for murder but I do not advocate such a thing so leave my blog if you are thinking those kinds of things...
Where was I? Ah! Yes...
When we talk about honesty with ourselves we have to decide what our own personal truth is and I can't help you with that. Only YOU know who you are and no matter if you're with your absolute soul mate (yeah I believe in that kinda stuff) or not, your partner will never know who you truly are. There's no way to see into somebody's mind or literally experience life from their perspective to get that understanding of somebody. Even if we could read a mind we should also know that the mind can be very deceiving and sometimes people are just thinkin' nonsense anyway right?
I am still developing an understanding of myself and I think a part of my struggle is my inability to figure things out as easily as I would like to. I know that sounds petty n minor to some of you but for me it is a heck of an issue. I never learned to have faith in myself let alone believe I can reach the 5 year milestone in a marriage.
We have to be honest with ourselves and we have to be honest with our partner. We are calling this person our "better half" yet we can't be a man or woman and be absolutely honest? I don't mean little "white" lies but in matters of the heart and true feelings for the other person. If you are no longer happy then you need to voice that and let it be known in a nice way, mind you. Don't go running around cheating and piling lies on top of lies because this is robbing yourself of self honesty & self respect as well as robbing your mate of their respect of you being honest. If you feel like you have doubts in your relationship you have to make your partner aware no matter what excuse you might try to come up with to keep from doing so.
We have to be honest enough to trust one another as well. I honestly trust Angela with my life and I know for a fact that she will do right by my heart. I have 100% faith in her and being the greatest husband I can be to her is my most important goal in life. The day we met we put all our cards on the table right away and we let each other in and when the bumps in the road and detours came up we got through to the other side together and we do it very well. Mostly because I am a genius but mostly because she is a genius more so.
With Angela and I being on the same page the way we are it means we are both secure enough to still grow as individuals yet keep our relationship fresh and relevant by being our cool hip selves oooh yeah! Ha! What I mean is we keep our spirits lifted with good fun! We play around and have fun including others in on our goofing off.
One other necessity for a relationship is PATIENCE. Look the word up in the dictionary and study it and examine it deeply and think about what it means to YOU. I'm serious too, write the word down and the meaning and look up all you can on the word PATIENCE...listen to "Patience" by Guns N' Roses! Then write down what patience means to YOU and maybe try to think about and jot down what you could do to try to be a little more patient in life. Both in our individual life and couple-life we have a natural tendency to rush into the smoke without knowing what's feeding the fire (or some cliche thing like that I don't know cliches) and we allow impatience to weaken our bonds as couples.
And of course there is LOVE. L.O.V.E. "All you need is love" is a very true song and statement. All of the ingredients to a a strong relationship are also the ingredients to LOVE. I'm talking about true love not just a boy meets a girl and they like each other so decide to date nor am I talking about anything other than two people that come together and are able to put their all into making the other person happy and seeing to it that they are always aware of their importance to them. Give your special someone a constant reminder that they are that special someone. Don't do it with gifts, don't do it with flowers, not with song, nor with poetry and forget greeting cards! Just TELL them. Every single day, perhaps in the morning and at night before bed. Ritualize it if you need to but do it!
We have to be willing to accept mistakes and allow our other half to be themselves too. A relationship won't work if you can't accept a person for who they are and how they are so if you find yourself constantly trying to change something about your significant other then you might not be in the right place. It doesn't mean you should give up though I'm not saying that I am saying that if you want to have a better relationship then you need to work at it and you need to act NOW! Look at it as starting over fresh and new and maintain total communication and you and your partner can guide the relationship where you want it to go and more importantly where it SHOULD BE.
The hardest part of all of this is self examination because sometimes our perspectives are twisted when it comes to us. What you might want to think about doing is while you are alone after an argument (every relationship has a good argument here n there so don't think you aren't a "compatible couple" because you have fights, America has been at war since it's birth yet it's still the UNITED States...) is sit and think about what was said and remember what your partner had to say. Sift through the digs that were taken and look for a moment when they were saying how they FELT.
It is really important that you pay attention to how your partner is feeling inside even if they have a hard time verbally expressing those feelings. Some of us just don't handle confrontation so well and turn an argument into an all out war because we are in panic mode. The after argument period is the most crucial period because what we will normally get is your friends telling you "you were right you were right you were right!" and their friends telling them "you were right!" and we get hammered and then reality sets in and nothing good has come from any of that. You're broke, gotta get up and face the situation either way and now you've gotta face it feeling like you are a zombie. Fun!
We have to always be willing to work and work together especially. It takes 2 great individuals though to make a great relationship. We need to appreciate the smaller things and cut back on the FINER (more expensive) things so that in the special occasions we don't need to go signing our souls away for cash. A better appreciation for the person that just cooked dinner for you and your children and a better appreciation for the person that just worked their butt off regardless of the wage to keep you and your kids safe n secure.
For relationships without children, all of the above applies to you minus the children part, duh right?
These are just some of my beliefs when it comes to being the best husband I can be for my wife...
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Happy Birthday Barrack Obama
August 4th 2012 marked the 51st birthday of the President of the United States, Barrack Obama. I found out because of numerous shots being launched at the man on the news and through social networking. Facebook and Twitter as well as Tumblr and many other sites were loaded with cheap shots directed toward the birthday boy.
I was not surprised by this because that's just the way it's going to be it seems when it comes to politicians (presidents even worse). For some reason though the insults seem much more vicious in nature when it comes to Barrack Obama. I'm seeing as far as full on death threats or wishes of death or other severe harm and that's just not right. What kind of human beings are we if we tolerate and allow this kind of behavior in our supposedly "civilized" society?
I don't care much for the political issues because there is very little truth on both sides, the system doesn't work because the whole political process is fought and decided by who ever could talk the best sh*t and sell the most people on his/her ideas. The government cares about what you think around election time and as soon as you walk away from the voting booth they spit in your face as ya walk out the door and say frig you come back next election season!
Politics brings out the worst in everybody because the whole argument is about who is right who is wrong, we have flip flopped between democraps and rebubichairs and the only thing im seeing with MY eyes and experiences is a steady decline in society, respect is lost, evil is slaying the good and people just stand around and watch and never mind the fact that people profit off of the deaths of others. People pay top dollar to see a real good fight (the more brutal the better). Morals are bass ackwards, people are deathly afraid and have good reason to be but it's a damn shame they have to feel that way....
Now aside from all of what I just said, the fact remained that it was Barrack Obama's 51st birthday. So I would like to take this time to wish him a very happy belated birthday! No matter what goes on in the politics of it all I believe that every person no matter what deserves to have a happy birthday and to be treated with the love and respect they deserve. Regardless of differences.
That's my blog for Sunday August 5th, 2012...
Keep ya posted on the next blog! please feel free to comment and if you have any questions you can shoot me an email! I am also accepting donations for my "Revolution" campaign where I am aiming to spread around some joy in the chicago area during the holidays and other community projects. I need all the help I can get so if you'd like to contribute shoot me an email! Email Joey
Joey Dangerously...
Power 2 the People!
I was not surprised by this because that's just the way it's going to be it seems when it comes to politicians (presidents even worse). For some reason though the insults seem much more vicious in nature when it comes to Barrack Obama. I'm seeing as far as full on death threats or wishes of death or other severe harm and that's just not right. What kind of human beings are we if we tolerate and allow this kind of behavior in our supposedly "civilized" society?
I don't care much for the political issues because there is very little truth on both sides, the system doesn't work because the whole political process is fought and decided by who ever could talk the best sh*t and sell the most people on his/her ideas. The government cares about what you think around election time and as soon as you walk away from the voting booth they spit in your face as ya walk out the door and say frig you come back next election season!
Politics brings out the worst in everybody because the whole argument is about who is right who is wrong, we have flip flopped between democraps and rebubichairs and the only thing im seeing with MY eyes and experiences is a steady decline in society, respect is lost, evil is slaying the good and people just stand around and watch and never mind the fact that people profit off of the deaths of others. People pay top dollar to see a real good fight (the more brutal the better). Morals are bass ackwards, people are deathly afraid and have good reason to be but it's a damn shame they have to feel that way....
The
steps that i am taking are driven by my hope that all the pain n misery
can be turned around and some happiness and peace can be spread around
amongst us...ALL of us!
It's been one hellish life and these past few years have really been beating us up badly. I have made decisions to lighten my heart and get rid of some of the negative energy that comes along with a grudge. Hatred is not in my heart, it never has been and never will I allow it to be. I want everybody to be happy no matter what situation. These evil things going on around us have to be countered with positivity so treat those around you with love and respect, don't let the past consume you and allow the possibility for forgiveness where you'd rather not...
We have to take care of each other no matter how independent we think we are...have each others backs to make sure we are okay and all is good, if it's not so good, BE there and do what we can to make sure somebody in need will NEVER go at it alone...but it takes a lot of inner strength and will power to be able to do this...but for the sake of the people we have lost from mothers to grandparents and the tragic loss of these beautiful kids taken from us and also kids all over being killed in shameful acts of violence, it is really worth giving it a try. What's the worst that can happen??
Give Peace A Chance Mofos
It's been one hellish life and these past few years have really been beating us up badly. I have made decisions to lighten my heart and get rid of some of the negative energy that comes along with a grudge. Hatred is not in my heart, it never has been and never will I allow it to be. I want everybody to be happy no matter what situation. These evil things going on around us have to be countered with positivity so treat those around you with love and respect, don't let the past consume you and allow the possibility for forgiveness where you'd rather not...
We have to take care of each other no matter how independent we think we are...have each others backs to make sure we are okay and all is good, if it's not so good, BE there and do what we can to make sure somebody in need will NEVER go at it alone...but it takes a lot of inner strength and will power to be able to do this...but for the sake of the people we have lost from mothers to grandparents and the tragic loss of these beautiful kids taken from us and also kids all over being killed in shameful acts of violence, it is really worth giving it a try. What's the worst that can happen??
Give Peace A Chance Mofos
Now aside from all of what I just said, the fact remained that it was Barrack Obama's 51st birthday. So I would like to take this time to wish him a very happy belated birthday! No matter what goes on in the politics of it all I believe that every person no matter what deserves to have a happy birthday and to be treated with the love and respect they deserve. Regardless of differences.
That's my blog for Sunday August 5th, 2012...
Keep ya posted on the next blog! please feel free to comment and if you have any questions you can shoot me an email! I am also accepting donations for my "Revolution" campaign where I am aiming to spread around some joy in the chicago area during the holidays and other community projects. I need all the help I can get so if you'd like to contribute shoot me an email! Email Joey
Joey Dangerously...
Power 2 the People!
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